I made a big decision this weekend.  I made the decision to let go.  It has been in the works for a long time, and, as an artist-maker, I know 2 things to be very true.  First, ideas flow through your head All. The.   Time.  It’s like they are unstoppable, just flowing in and out constantly and behind them a certain urgency to see them come to life.  Second, the artist struggle to “make a living” is a real one, and it may take years of experimenting with styles and ideas before you find the one that works.  Well, I can say with great confidence, I have found something that I believe can sustain us, our family, and our farm for many years. 
 
  For about 6 months now I have been contemplating how to fit sewing into my time, and for 6 months I have failed to even make the curtains I promised for the Airstream camper that decorates our yard.  That is a favor for a friend that I will eventually make time for.  As for Breed Fashion…I have been holding on by a heart string, and it’s time to let go.  I know this because I have allowed the ideas flowing into my head to change from creative textile combos and abstract applique, to essential oil pairings and possible chemistry formulas for aging skin care.  Yeah, it’s time.
 
  I love watching the ebb and flow of life unobstructed by the details.  Sometimes, as I’m passing through a moment I like to think about how I will remember it, or how someone else might.  It’s like moving forward in time to look into the past that is actually the present.  I like to think I’ll look back on this moment to liquidate my clothing inventory and focus on bath and skincare as the beginning of a solid future and the moment I finally decided to take something all the way.  Without wishing time away, I am excited to see what the future brings for YB Urban?, and for our homestead.
 
  I put my remaining inventory on super-sale at the Cheese Curd Festival this weekend and watched them fly off the racks.  It was fun to see people not cringe at the prices, knowing I could never sell them for what I am offering them for now and actually make a living.  Clothes belong on humans, not in my closet, it’s all part of letting go.  After seeing my son spend a total of 21 hours over the course of 2 days with me at the festival working hard with little complaint, I know he is growing up, too.  I guess I’ll take letting go of some textile art pieces over him, knowing that it’s not so far away, either.

We had a wonderful invitation from the Ellsworth Public Library to speak at the Senior Center about our journey from city-to-farm.  We are feeling extremely fortunate to have relocated into such a warm, welcoming community and look forward to meeting many more residents while we are here.  Please enjoy the video!

Our first winter in Wisconsin (2013) ended with 18 inches of fresh powder falling the first weekend of May.  Being the first winter Chris had ever spent in the Midwest, I had to assure him a few times that was not normal.  When March rolled around this year it was my sweet husband who was the optimist, telling me over and over we were "turning the corner" and spring was almost here!  It's now mid-April, we just received another 9 inches of snow, and the kids trudge to the end of the driveway to await their bus, fighting the need to wear snow pants despite temps well below freezing. 

Perhaps my procrastination to write about our first winter at our new farm lead to the delay of spring.  Mother Nature wants us to be timely in our endeavors, right?  I may have missed the opportunity at all had spring crept in at its usual time, not wanting to post photos of snow covered trees when our friends and neighbors had already started breaking out the t-shirts and lawnmowers.  Ok, Mother Nature, you win (as usual).  Now that this story has surfaced, can we finally move onto something resembling planting weather?  Thank you.

Winter came in with a vengeance after Christmas, dolling out weeks on end of double digit negative temperatures with wind chills straight out of something resembling Hoth in the Star Wars movie.  We were thankful that a previous homeowner had put in good windows some year ago, but the house still showed us many inefficiencies when it came to heat flow.  Our front entry way (aka laundry room) was devoid of any heat source due to the laundry plumbing being pulled through the only heating duct many moons before our time.  This lead to mornings (I kid you not) where I would walk downstairs from my bedroom and see my breath.   Chris and I had to give up our super warm Korean blankets to the kids and use our electric mattress pad to find comfort.  Getting out of bed in the mornings proved to be challenging, even while dressed in multiple layers.  We strategically placed a portable space heater in one room, and then we'd all stay huddled up there as long as possible.

I know a lot of women with kids and businesses or jobs often find themselves neglecting their self-care.  We hear all the time how important it is to take me-time out of our days to relax, read, exercise, or rest.  I lived by this rule over the winter, maybe to the opposite extreme.  There were so many days I would spend an hour or more (sometimes kind of a lot more) just sitting in the bath, enjoying the warmth of the water.  To get out after soaking for so long, my body would finally feel warm.  Luckily in my biz I can get away with calling bath time "product testing", so it's refreshing and productive all in one. 

We were able to get some things done around the house, like painting the living room, and just recently, finishing our laundry room!  Earlier this week we had the furnace duct work reconnected into the front room and can already tell a difference in the heat flow throughout the house.   The studio is now the coldest room of the house due to the attic access lacking insulation.  We are hoping we can work on that in the upcoming years, though probably not anytime soon.

Chris started his seedlings last weekend and is so eager to get out to the garden.  Any nice day that came along, though very few and far between, he was outside working on clearing the forest, or checking the trees in the orchard for life.    The pictures posted here are his, and they do remind us of the beauty of winter on the farm.    I was able to spend a lot of time in the kitchen enjoying the opportunity to create new smells and test my ever-evolving chemistry skills with respect to my craft.  I'll be happy when I can take these new findings out into our local communities and share them with happy festival goers. 

We lost one hen in the late of spring, otherwise all the animals survived.  For many of them, this was their first winter ever and maybe they're wondering how the hell they ended up in Wisconsin.   Me?  As much as I am not the avid winter sportswoman, I will take the long Wisconsin winter in the country to any season in the desert.  Anyday…except in June.  Don’t test me, Mother Nature.